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The Royal Method
Andy Canfield
Information Management Systems

The Royal Method

I know of one man who can grant me Thai citizenship. His picture is on the green twenty-baht bill. He is the King of Thailand.

Actually, the so-called "Royal Method" does not require the involvement of our King himself. It can involve anyone in the hierarchy of the Kingdom of Thailand, as long as that person has authority over the people who will be deciding on my application for citizenship. Assuming that the application will be processed by the Immigration Police, which is under the Ministry of the Interior, the letter could be addressed to the Minister of the Interior, or to the Assistant Prime Minister, or to the Prime Minister. That can be done at any time; no need to wait for thirteen years to pass.

But it is dangerous. You really do not want people high up in the political hierarchy angry at you.

The letter must be in Thai. I plan to have each paragraph be in Thai, with an English translation underneath. My Thai must improve before I send it.

The letter is based on the assumption that being a subject of the King of Thailand is equivalent to being a citizen of Thailand. If this is not true things could get interesting.

Here is a draft of the letter:

To: ...
From: Your Humble Servant Andrew Jay Canfield (U.S. Passport #482558116)
Date: April 23, 2015
Regarding: Thai Citizenship

Please allow me to become one of your subjects.

I have lived in Thailand since 1990, over twenty years, except for two years when I lived in Laos. I live in Banphai, changwat Khonkaen.

In 1994 I discovered that I love Thailand. I would rather die in Thailand than live in the United States. In 2014 I discovered that the people of Banphai love me. I walk down the street and strangers come up to me and say "Hi, Andy, how are you doing?"

My friends are Thai; my children are Thai, the mothers of my children are Thai. I want to be Thai like them.

You can find out more about me at www.andycanfield.com.

I have talked to the immigration police. Their procedure involves thirteen years and more money than I have. I am sixty-six years old; I am older than my father was when he died. I am not sure I will still be alive in thirteen years.

The alternative is to die and be reborn as a Thai person. I can do that if you prefer, just let me know.

My family and friends and I await your reply. Thank you very much.