Pat Pat grew up in the same village where Aw grew up; they knew each other as children. Pat says that I first saw her at the village well across the road from Aw's house. I remember the incident; but I can't remember the face well enough to swear it was Pat. I remember going over to the lady and saying "Hello". She was filling her family water jugs.

I went to Bangkok every few weeks in November and December, 2004. I was visiting the Five Star Bar every trip. There was one very sexy dancer in there named Pat. I asked myself how would I feel if Pat were my daughter. I answered "I'd want Pat to be the sexiest broad in the place, and if any farang liked her enough to take her to his hotel room, she'd fuck his mind out so bad that he'd have to take his brain home in a suitcase." Far from condemning their behavior, I would want my daughter to be absolutely the best at whatever she did. Now I feel that prostitution is not good for a girl; it changes her to where she is basically incapable of ever loving a man. But I still feel that, whatever a lady does, she should do it the best she possibly can. If you're a preacher or a pimp, a hooker or a astronaut, you should try to be the very best you can. On December 22 Chaliew, who also works at Five Star, saw me walking up Soi Cowboy with my arm around another girl. Later that evening I showed up at Five Star. In retrospect, a decision had been made. At one point I kissed Chaliew on my right, then I kissed Pat on my left. I commented to Chaliew that she needs to teach Pat how to kiss. Chaliew said "If you pay bar for both of us, I'll teach her." So I did. I was sleeping at the spare bedroom of my friend. We all went to his apartment. We sat on the couch and talked. Then we went into the bedroom and took off our clothes. Boy, you would have laughed if you had seen the naked three of us, with only one towel, trotting back and forth to the bathroom! Flesh was flying everywhere! I got into Pat, with Chaliew helping. Afterwards, we slept; Pat on the bed against the wall, me next to Pat, and Chaliew on the floor. I slept on my back, with one hand on Pat's hip and the other hand on Chaliew's breast. Even that night I had the suspicion that I'd screwed the wrong one. I went to Bangkok again the first weekend in January and popped Pat again. We slept naked but couldn't fuck, later I woke up at 4AM and we did it. When I woke up in the morning I got Pat up and we went for a boat ride on the Chao Praya river. I wanted to do some nice exploring tourist stuff with Pat, but she seemed to be bored. We took a taxi back. We stopped at a department store to buy Pat some decent underwear. The stuff she was wearing was frayed and tattered. We got back to the hotel. Her period started. We slept. The next day was Sunday. It was boring! I didn't know it then, but Pat likes to sleep all day. Two weeks later I was in Bangkok again. Friday night I slept with Pat and the sex was fantastic. I turned off my phone because I figured some friend of Aw in the bar would call her and tell her and Aw would yell at me. Saturday morning I knew that I had to get her out of town or she'd lie around all day and it wold be boring again. So I paid her bar fine for three more nights, and we caught a bus to Roiet. In Roiet I had an apartment. We got there Saturday night. Sunday morning I rode her on the back of my bicycle to the bicycle store and bought another bike. Officially it is for anyone who is my guest in Roiet. Pat rode it. At first she thought it was too much work, that it was dumb, that we were not doing the hot sexy expensive stuff that is supposed to be so great. But after a while she began to respond to the exercise and the fresh air and the relaxed atmosphere and I think she was beginning to bloom. Then, at midnight Sunday night, Aw knocked on the door. She had the two kids with her. To this day she claims that no one at the bar called her, that she was simply worried about me because my phone was off. Boy was she angry when she saw Pat in my bed.

It was Aw the dragon lady out of a Chinese Opera. She sent Pat packing. Since I had already given Pat all my money, I didn't mind. I encouraged it so as to get Pat out of the way of whatever fight Aw was building up to. Aw had paid a guy with a truck to bring her and the kids to Roiet. So Pat left in that truck to go to the bus station and get a ride back to Bangkok. Since it was midnight, Pat may have had to stay in Roiet overnight. But she had plenty of money, so I figured she was OK.

After Pat left, Aw was ready to fire into me. I asked Aw "How much did you pay that truck to bring you to Roiet?" and she said "One thousand baht. I said "You just bought yourself a divorce." You could see the wind come out of her. The fire in her heart had just had a flood of water fall on it. She had been to blow and fume and fight, but she wasn't ready to get divorced. She went from dragon lady to fear on the floor in seconds.

Aw slept on the bed with the two children; I slept on the floor. I refused to sleep on the bed with them. I didn't really mind Aw showing up and throwing Pat out, that was kind of amusing. But I was really pissed off that Aw felt she had the right to sleep in my bed. The next morning I went to work, leaving Aw with no way to get around and nothing to do. So Aw got a bus ride back to Banphai.

I saw Pat on and off after that. When I want to Bangkok I could sleep with her, but she would not dare to come near Roiet again.

Pat faded from my life that spring. Then, in the spring of 2006, Pat came back as a bombshell. Aw had given me permission to screw any lady in Thailand "except Pat". So, guess who? Blew apart my marriage to Aw, ended our seven years together. More on Aw ...

By April of 2006 Pat and I were getting ready for something serious. Then she disappeared. Nobody knew where she was.

I was going crazy without any lady to hold my head and keep me sane. So one day I took Chaliew out of the bar permanently, a second time. She was to stay with me, go everywhere with me, keep me sane.

Chaliew caught a rumor that Pat had been busted by the police. We were tracking it down when she appeared again in July. Yes, she and the Thai boyfriend she was living with had been busted for posession of amphetamines (what the Thais call "YA BA"). She was released after 45 days, but he was still in prison.

I was ready to finally join up with Pat. Chaliew wasn't much of a problem. Chaliew was not jealous; she'd been working in the bar too long to get jealous. Plus, a year earlier, she had been thrown out of Roiet for getting jealous over another lady who never worked out anyway. So Chaliew did not complain.

Pat had lost her telephone in the bust. So I bought her a new one. I had to go to Laos on a visa run. I could not take Pat because she had to show up at the Police probation monitoring center every week or two. I left Pat money to buy food with. She spent it all and sold her telephone to get food. I had to pay more money to get it out of hock.

I finally got the cash together to pay Pat's permanent bar fine, and she came to live with me. On our last day in Bangkok, we went out to the prison and visited Pat's (former?) boyfriend. He is incredibly greedy; virtually every sentence to Pat was a form of "Give me money".

We caught the overnight bus and went to the village; Pat's village, also Aw's village. We were there for a day. Pat got sort of frustrated because I had only a few hundred baht which we had to save to buy the bus ticket out of there. And, of course, there is no ATM machine in the village.

The next day we caught the bus as far as Khonkaen, where there are ATM machines, and then on to Roiet. Pat had finally returned to Roiet two years after Aw threw her out. Chaliew was already living in the house in Roiet, sleeping in the guest bedroom. I put Pat's things into the master bedroom where I sleep

Before nightfall, Pat and I had a big fight over money. I took Pat's bag and put it in the guest bedroom. She picked it up and put it on the front porch and got Chaliew to ride her away, on the back of the bicycle. I jumped on the motorcycle and caught up with them. I gave Pat five thousand baht as going-away thank you money, and got my key back from her. Now that Pat had some money, she went off to the bus station in a samlor. Chaliew and I returned to the house.

I was beginning to realize that Pat has the bad habit of spending all the money every day. If she has a hundred baht, she'll spend a hundred baht. If she has five thousand baht, she'll spend five thousand baht. I told Chaliew "You watch - that five thousand baht won't last three days." Boy, did I underestimate Pat. This happened in the evening, about sunset. At one P.M. the next afternoon Pat phoned Chaliew to say that she was broke. She had spent 300 baht getting from Roiet to her village, and gave the other 4,700 baht to her mother. The girl had no money, no job. She obviously had to go back to work in her Bangkok bar. But she didn't have enough intelligence to hold on to enough money to pay the bus fare from her village back to Bangkok. Pat called Chaliew to find out if I would give her some money. Chaliew talked to her while I was rolling on the floor laughing my fool head off. The answer was "no".

Yeah, I still love her. But I'm not as dumb as I used to be. What with the Thai boyfriend, and the amphetamines, and the free flow of money, Pat is bad news. As they say, "A nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there."

Last we heard Pat was living with her boyfriend and they have three kids together.