Aw

aw_5Aw (pronounced like the English word "awe") was born on October 22, 1979. She grew up in the small village of Bahn Thapgung, Tambon Thapgung, Amphoe Nongsaeng, Changwat Udonthani, Thailand. Her formal name when we were married was "Boonmee Ngontong". Since then she has changed her name to "Ananglak Ngontong". She insists that it be pronounced "Anang-lak", meaning a lovely lady. I keep pronouncing it "Anan-glak", meaning an eternal skin disease.

As a child she was nicknamed "Lut", which means "straw". I guess she must have been skinny. At the age of 12 she graduated from the Thai sixth grade. Like most Thai children, that was the end of school for her.

At 13 Aw went to work as the maid in a household near Pattaya. Her duties included cleaning the house and doing the laundry and looking after the children. She was homesick, however, and cried every day; so after three months she returned to her family in the village.

A while later she went to work in a factory in Bangkok. In August of 1966 she got involved with a boy named Ae who worked at the same factory. Within a few months she was pregnant. She and Ae moved to Ae's village in Udon to live with Ae's parents. Their child was born on May 21, 1997, a cute little baby girl they called Ning (Aranya Kaeongan).

Aw says that Ae was lazy, that he never did any work, that he would talk about getting a job but whenever the time came he stayed in bed. She says that they fought a lot, with words and shouting and slapping each other but never with fists. She wanted to go back to her father and mother, but he would not let her take Ning with her.

When Ning was almost 11 months old there came the annual Sonkran holiday, April 13, 14, and 15. On April 13 Ae lay down to listen to music. He said that Aw could go back home to momma if she left the baby with him. Ae fell asleep. Aw walked. She carried Ning, baby soap, baby powder, two sets of baby clothes, and an umbrella. She walked to the local Buddhist temple, but went through the temple and out the other side. One lady said "Where are you going?" and Aw answered "I am taking my baby to the hospital." Aw took Ning to the next village and hid there. She saw Ae riding a motorcycle, hunting for her; but he did not see her.

Then she rode a bus (a large songtiaw for those of you who know Thailand) to a relative's house 40 kilometers (25 miles) away. Sonkran is the Thai holiday where Thais bless each other by pouring water on everyone. If you are 60 years old it is a traditional blessing. If you are 15 years old it is a national water fight. Young people line the streets and throw water on the motorcycles and cars and trucks and buses going by. This is why Aw carried the umbrella. When the water came from the left Aw put her umbrella to the left. When the water came from the right Aw put her umbrella to the right. When the water came from both sides she and Ning got wet.

By the time Aw and Ning got to her relative's house, they were soaking wet. That evening Ning got sick. The next morning Aw did, indeed, take Ning to the local hospital, but it was not serious. After Sonkran, after Ning got well, Aw and Ning took another bus to Aw's home village

awWhen Ning was one year old, and the family short of money, Aw left the village to go work in Bangkok. She got a job dancing at the Five Star Bar on Soi Cowboy. Aw felt that she was doing a bad thing, but it was money to feed her mother and father and daughter.

I first set eyes on Aw on December 26, 1998. I was not a virgin when I met Aw; there had been others.

I was walking past the bar at about 2 AM. I heard good music coming out so I went in. There I saw a lady I knew named Chliaw. Over the course of the following month I went into the bar many times to see Chliaw. Of course, every time I went in I had to buy Chliaw a drink, and one for Cliaw's best friend Aw. That was how I met Aw. In late January Chliaw went to work in a different bar but I kept coming back to see Aw.

Aw is short and thin has dancer's legs and the cutest face I've ever seen. The longer we were "just friends" the more I thought about her.

On a Friday evening near the end of March I stopped by to see Aw. After I left I walked down Soi Cowboy and stopped in another bar. The gal who sat next to me asked to go to my hotel room with me. She asked about once every ninety seconds. After ten or fifteen minutes I decided that since I had nothing to do, and could do anything I wanted to do, and was just sitting there anyway, I would go back and sit with Aw.

Aw is very sexy. But she is young enough to be my daughter. Indeed, she is two years older than my eldest daughter. Sometimes that is disturbing. It was as if she could come on as a lady, and a minute later relate to me as if she were my daughter. The ambiguity bothered me a great deal. I left the bar and went home.

The next night I was in the bar again. Aw was dancing. A man came in who waved at Aw and she gestured back. They knew each other. He sat down at the next table. He was even older than me. I wondered whether Aw would sit with him or with me. She sat with me.

Aw was attracted to men that are much older than her. My sister was like that. I figured that Aw was going to go with some old geezer, so it might as well be me. I paid my bill to leave. The waitress suggested I pay Aw's bar fine so that she could leave with me. I paid it. Then I realized I hadn't asked Aw if she would go with me; this was impolite. So I asked her if she would go have dinner with me. Aw said "Yes". Years later I learned that the the word "Aw", in Thai, means "Yes".

She went upstairs to change clothes. That man had been watching what was going on. Seeing that Aw was going with me, not him, he paid his tab and left. As he was leaving, walking in front of my table, he turned to me and said "Take good care of her." For more than two years now I've done my best. Someday I'd like to tell him.

We ate dinner, then Aw came to my apartment. I was embarrassed by the junk thrown on the bed, so I picked it up and tossed it on the floor. She picked it up from the floor and set the stuff neatly aside. Then she swept the floor. Then she mopped the floor. There I was, waiting for her, and she's doing the cleaning lady bit. Finally she showered. I was thinking "This girl doesn't want to f---!" So when she came to bed we hugged and talked and fell asleep. At five o'clock in the morning we woke up, made love, and fell asleep again. It was Sunday morning, March 28, 1999.

aw_kShe is beautiful, and pleasant, and goodhearted, and sexy, but, perhaps most important of all, she is interesting. Fascinating. She's a rainbow. Awesome, not awful at all. Not yet, anyway.

About a week later Jen showed up in Banphai with a ten wheel truck and hauled away all of her furniture. Well, that was pretty seriously "good-bye", eh? A week after that was the start of the Sonkran Holiday week. In Thailand almost everything closes and people throw water on each other. I was sitting in Banphai, alone, the office was closed. I realized I didn't have to sit there, I could go down to Bangkok and see Aw. I met her Monday, April 12. We stood outside the bar and shot squirt guns at the passing victims, and at our friends, and at each other. We got soaked, and we loved it. We spent the night together. I count April 12 as our anniversary, commemorating that day.

The next morning I said that we didn't have to stay in Bangkok, we could go somewhere else. "Where do you want to go?" "Up to you!" "Up to you!" "Up to you!" So I planned my sneaky plan and said "Nong Khai!"

To get from Bangkok to Nong Khai you have to go past Banphai, where I live, and past Udon, where Aw's parents live. My plan was that, if we hit it off together, on the way back from Nong Khai she might invite me to meet her parents, and I might be able to talk her into visiting Banphai.

We stayed in Nong Khai for several days. As a girl, Aw always loved mangos, but never had the chance to eat her fill. With her desire, and my money, we ate loads of mangos, and had stomach aches together.

Then Sunday, something happened which was not in my plan. I fell in love with her. Based on a decade's experience in Thailand, I had excellent schemes, for meeting her, seducing her, getting to know each other, testing each other, seeing if we got along together, for incrementally joining together. Then, Sunday afternoon, I discovered that I was in love with her. The plan went out the window. But this was better. Once the heart is taken, the strategies of the mind are forgotten.

She invited me to meet her mother and father. The house they lived in was quite a shack. One wall was made out of cardboard. The floor was made out of spare planks, which in some places fit together and in many places did not. The main roof was sheet metal; the porch roof was thatch. In honor of my presence they ran a wire in from a neighbor's house, so for one night they had an electric light and a fan.

Aw and I went to Banphai for a couple of days, then we visited Roiet. We had dinner with my best friend, Jim, and his Thai wife Jurai. Afterwards I heard that Jurai was quite favorably impressed by Aw, because Aw kept talking about her baby. Aw worked in Bangkok, and the baby lived with Grandma in Udon, so Aw only got to see her baby once every few months. But Aw thought about her always and spoke of her often.

I rarely ask God for anything, but in Banphai I prayed to God that he would show us some way that Aw could stay with me. Aw worked in Bangkok in order to have money to feed her mother and father and daughter. In Roiet that evening, as we talked, I learned that Aw only made about 7 thousand baht each month. I could give her that much. That meant that it was financially possible for Aw to quit her job and come live with me.  Thank you, God, very very much. He showed me the way that Andy and Aw could be.

Aw had told me that she was twenty years old. I believed that she was twenty years old. Actually, the habit in Aw's culture is to say that somebody is so many years old when by American standards they will turn that old during that year. Aw said she was twenty years old, but she didn't say that she would turn twenty later that year. By my standard she was only nineteen. I found that out during that dinner in Roiet. Oops. Here I was living with a teen-ager! Now, the way I figure it, twenty is an adult, and adults are responsible for their own actions, so it doesn't matter if you're twenty or fifty or ninety. But nineteen is a child, and children should be cared for and protected and looked after. If I had known Aw was only nineteen I would not have taken her. But by this time I was already in love with her, so I there was no backing out.

I asked her to quit her job and come live with me. Aw said "Yes". On the 12th I had paid her bar fine for one day, and on the 13th I had paid for ten days. The bar owed her money, so she wanted to finish the month as an employee, so I paid her fine for another ten days. At the end of the month she was supposed quit her job, but there is something funny about that. She must have told them a story. She enjoyed hanging around the bar with her friends. She wasn't really working, but she wasn't really gone, either. Maybe she told them she was on vacation. Then the bar asked her to help out in the afternoons, teaching the other girls how to dance. Then she started working every night again.

It was a problem. We couldn't go anywhere together because she had a job. She couldn't live with me in Banphai because she had a job in Bangkok. I couldn't live with her in Bangkok; I had a job to do in Banphai. At night I would try to hug her and, out of habit, she would treat me like I was a customer.

When I met Aw she had the dream of building a house for her mother and father. I thought that was very good of her. So I helped her. She was hoping for some rich farang to come along and give her the money. I taught her that it doesn't work that way. We opened a savings account in her name, and I put in 1,500 baht. She thought I was weird. A few days later I put in another thousand baht. A few days after that I put in more. I put in a thousand baht twice a week. It was money I wanted to give to her anyway. But if I'd handed her the cash she would just go down to the Robinson Department Store and spend it ( to this day when I give her money I say "Don't go to Robinson!" ). Instead of giving a big lump of cash I deposited it in the bank account a thousand baht at a time. I could even do that when I was in Banphai and she was in Bangkok.

She thought the bank account was kind of silly at first. Then she saw the numbers grow. Pretty soon she had more money than she had ever had in her entire life. She became a believer. She's had one bank account or another ever since.

In July I got tired of waiting and tired of living in Bangkok. So I forced the issue by giving up the Bangkok apartment. Now Aw was confronted with an unavoidable choice; either quit her job and move to Banphai, or go back to her old lifestyle without me. Somehow her friends got through to her and explained what was going on, and she chose to come to Banphai.

She finished out the month of July at work, then visited her village in Udon. On Saturday August 8 I went to Udon to meet Aw. On Sunday August 9th four of us left the village - Andy, Aw, Aw's daughter Ning, and Aw's mother Loy - and came to Banphai.

There was some confusion about Aw's birthday. Her official Thai government identity card says that she was born on October 22. But her childhood school papers say that she was born on July 22. Every once in a while the discrepancy crops up again.It's not important, but it was confusing, especially the first few months we were together.

God gave us the chance to be together. For the first two years we lived in a house in the Bahn Ekalath area of Banphai. Behind the house, to the west, there were rice fields all the way to the horizon. Every night there was a spectacular sunset to remind me of God, who had made all this possible. Thank you, God, very very much.

In Banphai I used a bicycle to get around town. When she came to Banphai I gave her a bicycle. After a couple of months she turned up with a motorcycle. Two years later she admitted to having spent the house money on the motorcycle. She gave the bicycle to her brother.

In September of 1999 we got Aw a passport and a few weeks later we visited Vientiane together. When we got to the border everyone told her that she could go across with a "border pass". True, she only needed a border pass. She got talked into it and bought a border pass. At the Thai immigration outgoing checkpoint, I said that I wanted her to go over on her passport with a visa on arrival. I wanted her to have the same legal status as I did, so that she could stay as long as I stayed and go wherever I went. The officer pointed out that it would cost money but I said that was OK, I didn't care. So the officer handed the border pass back to Aw and stamped her passport. On the Lao side we had to pay 1,500 baht for my visa on arrival and 1,500 baht for hers.

The next morning we were at the Thai consulate applying for my Thai visa. There was another couple there, also a farang man with a Thai girlfriend. They had come across the border when we did. That morning they discovered that it would take two days to get the Thai visa. So for two days the guy could not leave Laos. But the girlfriend's border pass was only good for one day! So they were in a panic. It looked as if she would have to go back to Thailand alone.

Aw was terribly impressed by my foresight in getting her a full official visa to Laos. Here before our eyes was a perfect example of what I had talked about. The farang man and the Thai girlfriend did not have the same legal status, and so they were under the threat of separation. Aw and I had exactly the same legal status so we had no worry. Since this incident Aw has trusted me far more than she did before. She trusts me to know what we're doing, and how to deal with governments and beaurocracies and passports and visas and suchlike. I still let her handle her Thai government, she's an expert at that, but she follows my lead when dealing with international stuff.

By the way, it turned out that the Thai girlfriend could get her border pass extended in Laos for a few more days, so she didn't have to go back alone after all. But Aw learned her lesson anyway - Andy knows what he's talking about.

Out back of the house there were flowers. They were blooming in February of 2000 when Aw told me that these were called, in Thai, "DAWK LAHK", love flowers. She said that a man gives such a flower to a lady when they get married. I impulsively went into the house, got a pair of scissors, and went out to cut one for her. I reached for the front one, but she pointed out one inside the plant, so I cut that one for her. She said "Do you want to marry me?" and I said "Yes". She said "When?" and I said "Up to you." She said "Tomorrow?" and I swallowed and said "OK". She talked further and decided that it would be better to get married after the house was finished, the house we were building for her mother and father in the village. I pointed out that if she married me she would not be allowed to own land but she said "No problem."

I was in bliss. She went in to talk to her mother and I went into the bedroom to write down exactly what had happened. Then she came in and asked what I was doing. I showed her what I wrote and she said she was just joking, that she didn't really mean it. Oh my God! I felt like she had ripped my heart out. Later that evening I lied to her for the first time - she asked me if I wanted to marry her and I said "no". It was a lie, but that's what she wanted to hear.

The next day I had to go to Roiet to work. I got back to Banphai in the early afternoon. I got on my bicycle and rode south on the highway. I rode and my legs started hurting. I rode and my legs hurt so much. I kept riding south until the pain in my legs was greater than the pain in my heart. Then I turned around. Nearly back to Banphai I pulled off the road and cried for a while. In a novel, in a movie, when a guy asks the girl to marry him, she usually says "yes". But if she says "no", he cannot stick around, he must leave. The rejected suitor rides into the sunset, hops a freight, joins the French Foreign Legion. I felt we could not stay together after that. I not only felt that it must be over, but felt betrayed, because I had not asked her, she had asked me. I had thought about marrying her for at least six months, but decided every time that I had to wait until she asked me. That evening, she asked me, I said "yes", then she said "no".

Eventually I feared that if I forced her go leave, or if I left, she would die, and I did not want her to die. So I stayed on, pretending not to be in pain, so that she would be OK.

Aw bought some land, but she didn't tell me she bought the land, because she decided that this land wasn't very good to build a house on, and she was afraid I would get angry at her. and not let her buy any more land. In the spring of 2000 she bought another lot and soon thereafter started construction on the house.

In October 2000 we went to Hong Kong together. We stayed at the condo of our friend Ruedi. He lives in Stanley, right on the waterfront. After a few days we moved into a spare apartment at a company my boss owns there. We visited Ocean Park and had a wonderful time.

In the summer of 2001 I decided to take Aw to California to visit my mother. So we applied for a tourist visa to the United States. On the application form it asks "Have you ever worked as a prostitute?" Aw said  "Yes". I am very very proud of her for speaking the truth. Darned near anyone would have lied. I wrote an explanatory paragraph describing her duties at the Five Star Bar. They called her in for an interview.

The interview was a debacle. We expected them to decide whether Aw would try to stay in the US illegally. Instead, the interviewer insisted on passing judgment on Aw's social status. She was particularly concerned that Aw did not have a job. Of course Aw does not have a job - she stays home and takes care of her family, just like my mother always did. But the interviewer eventually decided that Aw is not good enough to set foot on the sacred soil of Los Angeles. In effect, she called my lady a lazy whore.

We were both extremely upset by their arrogance. I promised Aw that she never has to set foot in that embassy again. But God says "Vengeance is mine" so I abandoned my anger. A month later some other people, also upset by the American government's arrogant attitude, tore down the World Trade Center.

On October 22, 2001, I asked Aw to marry me. Aw said "yes".

A month before Richard was born Aw stopped screwing. Two months after Richard was born, I hadn't gotten laid in three months. I guess I was stressed out. We had a fight over her yelling at Ning. She didn't talk to me for a week. I took my usual business trip to Roiet, but this time I rented an apartment.

I fully respect her right not to have sex. So I was thinking: "What will I do for entertainment now that I can't fuck any more? I know! I'll kill people! Killing people is fun; you see it all the time in the movies. Oh, but what if they kill you? The answer is simple - only kill the bad guys. People who kill good guys are bad guys and other good guys kill them; people who kill bad guys are good guys and they don't get killed. So that's what I'll do for entertainment - I'll kill people." Having observed myself thinking this, I decided that I'd better go out and get laid.

But I still respected Aw's right not to have sex. Also, with her, it is standard missionary stuff or nothing at all - she's not into alternative tecniques. In Cambodia they have a phrase, "three-hole girl". Well, Aw had been a one-hole girl, and she turned into a no-hole girl.

So I started visiting massage parlors and started getting some attention from the massuses. On a visa run to Cambodia I spent the night with a lady named Toe, and we did it all the way. Twice. Chris Lombardi teases me that he spent the previous night with Toe, so that makes us some kind of brothers. But he used a condom, I don't. So I tell him that he's the plastic brother, I'm the natural brother.

Pat is a girl who grew up with Aw; Pat is one year younger than Aw. They are not friends, but acquaintences. They come from the same village. Pat says that she first saw me in the village; she was washing clothes at the village well and I said "Hello". I remember the incident but could not swear if that was her or somebody else. Anyway, Pat now works in Five Star Bar, the same bar where I met Aw. More on Pat...

During the autumn of last year I was visiting Five Star, and became really impressed with Pat. She works as a gogo dancer and sometimes goes out with customers. She's a hooker. The voice of my mother whispered in my mind: how would I feel if she were my daughter? My heart answered: I would want Pat to be the best damned hooker in the bar; if any man likes her enough to take her to his hotel room I hope she fucks his brains out so totally that he has to take his brains home in a suitcase.

Well, I had a hope that someday Pat would spend the night in my bed. But I might have picked up a virus in Cambodia. So I needed to get a blood test. One morning, as I was leaving home, I told Aw that I would not be coming home for lunch. She asked why, and I said that I was going to Srinakarin hospital (30 miles north in the provincial capital). She asked if I was going to see my leg doctor, and I said no, I was going to get a blood test. I went, but they wanted me to come back the next day, so I said forget it. When I got home that night, Aw looked at me crosswise and said "Why do you need a blood test?" So she found out about Toe in Cambodia. It was ironic. She assumed that I took the blood test because of a lady I screwed. I'm not like that. I took the blood test because of a lady I was going to screw. Anyway, the next week I went back to Roiet and got a blood test there and it was negative. By this time I had to phone Aw and tell her the test results.

One evening last December I was sitting between Chaliew and Pat and I kissed Chleaw and and kissed Pat and told Chaliew "You need to teach Pat how to kiss." Chleaw said "Pay bar for both of us and I'll teach her." So I did and we did and she did and Pat did.

Well, Aw still has connections in Five Star, and found out about things. One day in January I took Pat to my apartment in Roiet. We spent Saturday on the bus, slept there Saturday night. At the time I owned a bicycle in Roiet; Sunday morning I bought another bicycle so Pat could ride with me. Sunday was pleasant, nice, comfortable. Sunday night we slept. Sunday night at midnight Aw knocked on the door. She had the two kids with her. She started cussing Pat, and Pat cussed back. Things could get sticky, and I had already given Pat all the money I had, so we hustled Pat out of there.

Aw had been angry at Pat, and Aw was all ready to be angry at me. I asked "How much did you pay that truck driver to bring you to Roiet?". She answered "One thousand baht". I replied "You just bought yourself a divorce." Bam! The anger disappeared instantly, replaced by fear. Aw went from killing to clinging. She spend the night in my Roiet apartment, even though she was not invited. That pissed me off. I didn't mind her throwing Pat out; that was merely amusing. But that was MY apartment, and she had no right to sleep there without my permission. She slept on the bed with the two kids; I slept on the floor. She kept trying to get me up in the bed but I refused.

In the morning she wanted me to unlock the new bicycle so she could ride it while I was at work, and I said no, that bicycle was for my guest, and she was not a guest, she was not invited. I went to work, and after few hours she went back to Banphai.

Ten days later I had to go to Bangkok. Aw asked if I she could come with me. I agreed, but made her promise that she would be polite to Pat. That evening Aw was in Five Star with Pat, and they had reached some sort of compromise, like maybe "you stay away from my husband and I won't kill you". I was sitting outside at another bar. Then I went in to Five Star. I sat down next; Aw was on my right. I wanted Pat to sit on my left, but Aw would not let her. Aw was drunk. Pat and I were sober. I ordered a soda. When it came, I went through the ritual of clinking glasses with each other person. Aw had a bottle of beer. When I tried to clink with Aw Aw poured her beer on the table instead of clinking with me. That cut it. I paid the bar tab, got up, and walked out. I got on the skytrain and rode away.

I wanted to get on a bus and flee back to Banphai. But I felt responsible for Aw. I had brought her to Bangok, so I must bring her back to Banphai. But I didn't want to see her. I hung out at another bar in another part of town, planning to get another hotel room and meet Aw in the morning. I was sitting in G-spot between two ladies, two hours after I walked out of Five Star, when suddenly there was Aw standing in front of us. She was silent, broken-hearted. I paid the bar tab, got up, and hugged Aw. We stood there until the change came. Then we stood outside the bar hugging for maybe twenty minutes. Finally we went back to the hotel and slept. The next morning we took the bus back to Banphai, and I left for Roiet.

I have since pointed out to Aw, and all you women should remember this, that you can't hang on to your husband by fighting off the other women. There are just too many women. While Aw was busy fighting with Pat, I went down the street and cuddled up with two others. You can't win by defeating the 'enemy', because there is one husband and a billion other women.

In Five Star Aw was well on her way to being a decent person, but she was drunk and she acted like a total shit.

Obviously I had to get a new place in Roiet; someplace that Aw could not find me. I rented a one storey three bedroom house, with a yard out front. It is beautiful. It is safe. Nobody knows where I live. And Aw is absolutely prohibited from coming to Roiet. Also; I refuse to take her anywhere, because I took her to Bangkok and even though she acted like a shit and I walked out on her, I still had to hang around to bring her back. Aw has become an ex. She knows it. She still gets some affection; she still gets some money. But she has lost her exclusive; she has lost her husband.

Aw has conceded defeat. A month ago she said that I have her permission to fuck any lady in Thailand. Except Pat. She realizes how lonely it can be living alone in Roiet. She told me that I could get some lady to live with me in Roiet. Any lady. Except Pat.

I have given her a typed document specifying how much money I will give her every month. She misses me. She's lonely. On the other hand, she seems to be happy taking care of Richard and Ning.

In May of 2006 Aw gave up and left me. She went to work in Bangkok at the Midnite Bar. Midnite Bar posted some pictures of her in their Gallery; for example she is the lady on the right in this picture:

Copy Right © [2007] [Midnite Bar]

In late 2006 she quite working at Midnite and went to work at other bars around Bangkok. Right now she works at Sheba. You can see her there. You can take her out. You can fuck her. I would not recommend it - she fucks like a dead fish. Lousy pussy.

More about Andy and Aw and Chaliew and Noi ...