Well, There Was This Lady, ...

Well, There Was This Lady, ...

I think that if I ever write my autobiography I will call it "Well, There Was This Lady...". Last night I did not come home until after dawn. Why not? Well, there was this lady... Yesterday you had lots of money; today you're broke! What happened? Well, there was this lady... I used to be young and carefree; now I have children to care for and responsibilities. How did this happen? Well, there was this lady...

I have rubbed bellies with many ladies during my life. Each and every one of these ladies was special. Part of my spirit has gone into her; part of her spirit lives in me. They should not be forgotten. This is their record.

When I broke up with my Japanese wife, and was telling my mother about my Vietnamese girlfriend, she said to me "Andy, why can't you ever find a nice WHITE girl?" I answered her "Why didn't you buy me a nice WHITE teddy bear?" I grew up with Smokey The Bear, who is brown, and every lady I ever loved looks like Smokey. I am 67 years old and I sleep with my Thai wife Chaliao and our son Wing and, of course, Smokey The Bear too.

Warning - if you are at all sensitive about explicit language I suggest you read no further on this page. I write the way I talk, and I don't speak in euphemisms.

Example: "to sleep with a lady". I once had a girlfriend named Noi. She refused to sleep with me. She would come over every afternoon and fuck, then get dressed and go sleep somewhere else. I hate euphemisms.

I confess that I do not remember most of these ladies. If I am ever rich I want to hire a private investigator to find each one of them, and give her some of my wealth. Each one of them was special. I spent 20 minutes with one, and 20 years with another. This is my electronic memory.

I inherited some money from my Mother when she died. I decided to give each of the mothers of my children a "two baht" gold chain woth two thousand dollars. I gave one to Grace, one to Aw, one to Chaliao, and one to Jenjira, I did not find Manee, but perhaps I did not look too hard.

America

Yvonne, Kathy with a 'K', Grace, Peru Hooker, Christine, Francie

Thailand

Sukjai PaiTai, Pramoj, Kay-o, Sulilat, Fat Lady from Sanam Luang Park, Pai, Bow, One Pen, Alaya, Ai, Nok, Ocean, Toi, Juan, Ni, Kip, Poo, Ni (Napaporn), Plaaw, Gummy, Miss Perfect, Smiley, Nong, Suk, Nok #2, Kratai, Number 72, Noi, Teak, Li, Gay-Oh, Nok #3, Soam, Pet, Tuoi, Gung, Bubpa, Ant, Ann, Noi, Sawn, Lollipop Girl, Jenjira, Khonkaen Gogo Girl, Warm Wart, Farang Connection Discovery, Noi, Na, Chiangmai Dancer, Cuay, Song, Chaliao, Kung and Kao, Saitong Jokram, Aw, See, Floading Restaurant Lady, Pat #1, Ngoc, Noi, Get, Ael, Fig, Sue See,

Appendices

All The Ladies, More, The Bar Code, Polygamy